13 March 2021 – New Moon

All feels to be in stasis. We have had new snowfall where I live, and although it will not last, it is pulling me back into winter habits of hibernation rather than the energy of spring that I am longing for. We seem to be (crossing my fingers) finding our way out of the pandemic woods that we have been lost in for a year now, but between waiting for vaccines to be available, and for clarity about the impact of the new mutations, we are clearly not completely out of the woods yet. So now we are playing a waiting game, and we do not even know what exactly it is we are waiting for. It is clear that we will not return to what we thought of as our normal life, and most of us are probably considering that to be promising. Here, we are invited to change, whether we were ready or not. But what is going to be different? How do we envision the new normal that we want to commit to? How are we different already as a result of the events of the last year? I don’t know if I can remember another spring in my life that held so much uncertainty and also promise – both for my own life and for the world I live in.

The most immediate action to take in this situation is to come to center, find myself in the present moment and stay engaged in the here and now. I no longer have my battered copy of Ram Dass’ Be Here Now, but just visualizing the cover takes me to a time period when the idea of staying in the present moment felt foreign and difficult to accomplish for longer than a minute or two. I was so young back then and my thoughts flowed to the endless future I was racing toward as fast as an impatient fourteen year old girl can, imagining she can hurry life by her sheer will. The concept of embracing the present I was living back then – not of my own making but handed down to me by my parents and the adults who had brought that world into being without my input – was not what I was looking for. I wanted to be out on my own, creating my own life and reality based on my idealistic dreams.

Now, half a century later, the phrase has deep, rich meaning for me. The only moment I actually do get to add my two cents to is the present. It is in this present moment, when I, fully aware and intentional, have an opportunity to contribute to what future I will step into. So I can ask myself, today, at this moment, what future am I weaving for when the waiting is over?